Making any relationship work requires effort and commitment. Settle it once and for all that you will put your best into your relationships. Self-centred people expect good relationships without putting anything substantial into it. For example, sometimes people leave a church with the excuse that the members are unloving. That is not always true. For one, it cannot be that everyone in that church is actually unloving. My observation has been that some of such people only got back what they gave – nothing! If no-one seems to notice you, you have a responsibility to go out of your way to express love. Believe me, it won’t be long before you will be on the receiving end too.

If you want total commitment from someone, the way to go about it is not to demand for it, but to give such a person your total commitment. If you want to be shown respect, be respectful towards others. It is actually unjust to require from someone else what you are not consistently giving to that person. People often refer to marriage as a “50-50” affair. Don’t believe it. In marriage, you don’t set out to meet your spouse half-way. You must be ready to go all the way. Make a quality decision to do all you can to love your spouse without demanding an equal amount in return. That is how to be fulfilled in marriage.

We also need to be constantly reminded that our primary responsibility to others is not try to change them, but to love them. This planet certainly needs more lovers than it needs critics, judges or teachers. Instead of trying to make the other person change, work at developing character and a warm, pleasant personality in yourself. Be diligent to develop in yourself first whatever traits and attitudes that you desire to see in your spouse or friend.

Some of these things will take time to bear the fruit you desire. You will have to make sacrifices. You often need a lot of patience. No one has said that building a healthy relationship will be effortless, but as you consistently invest in building a relationship of your dreams, you will notice a significant improvement in yourself and in that relationship.